I picked a scene, wrote it, and then reflected on which parts were difficult or could have been improved, and what I might want to research (new words to avoid repetition etc).
It's probably unreadable and isn't really intended to be read by anybody anyway, but just serves as a reference for my notes at the end, as well as a way of tracking what I've done, and hopeful eventual improvement at this.
----
"The fifth rule of spaceflight is-"
Master Yuri stopped, and slammed his hand down on the desk.
"Arms. Are you even listening?"
The teen flinched, and glanced back from the holowindow.
Master Yuri followed his gaze, and then sighed.
"She's not real, the girl in the park."
"She is to me."
"Arms... She was from Earth, over a hundred and sixty years ago. There's nothing behind that glass except rock. She's a dream of every boy whose sat in that chair."
"That's all I'll have, isn't it?"
Master Yuri frowned.
"If I become a freight hauler."
The old man sighed, and raised his hand, but the teen stood faster.
"When I'm out there, doing this assignment-"
"When you're out there - in the cold of space - you'll be asleep the entire time. That was the fifth rule, by the way. Never eat two cycles before boarding."
Arms glared.
"And all I'll have is dreams. Look me in the eyes and tell me that it's not true."
"It's a good career You'll be rich, when you get back."
"Everybody else will be ten years older. I'll be a few weeks."
"Arms-"
"And then I'll leave again. The miners will be done. Some of them will be dead!"
"Arms!"
"And every girl I've ever known will be that much older than me. I'll be an outsider to a whole cohort. Tell me, because I just realized - Why have I never seen a previous generation hauler in our group? Because they're too embarrassed to show their face!"
"Look, Mister Melodramatic-"
"And then I'll be leaving again anyway, and all of those people will be old. I'll get back, and will be dating my classmate's grandchildren! How do you do it Yuri? How do you stay sane?"
Yuri sat back down, crossed his arms, and leaned back with a sigh.
"I teach."
"And so you can marry - what - your cohort's great great grandchildren? Did they even have cohorts back then?"
Yuri swiveled in his chair. Arms' eyes widened. So much like a young man...
"I am married."
"To somebody a fraction of your age?"
"No."
Arms scrunched his face.
"From your generation?"
"Yes. More or less."
A silence hung between them.
"I'm sorry. You must miss her."
Yuri snorted, and Arms' eyes bulged.
"I was trying to be respectful!"
"Arms..." Yuri said, "Back when the A.I.s had to be taken down, and we learned to make do. When I had to take up this job-"
"You were already old!"
"When I was thirty... I'm thirty two now..."
"Plus a hundred and forty years."
Yuri waved the cryo math off.
"Point. Being. Back then, I was stuck with the shitty prospect of hauling the iron back to Earth, so that we could get water. Seeds. Minerals."
"So you know..."
"And you know what I said?"
"That you wanted to be paid well in the new economy. Yeah yeah."
"No actually. That was something they added in generation four. Out of pity I think. Rule six, by the way - You should get paid sixty-six thousand chits on completion of your ten runs."
Arms' eyes widened.
"Trust me, as much as that sounds now, it ain't as much as it used to be. Those fourth gens weren't the brightest - growing up in near dark - and they didn't think to factor in inflation."
Arms' expression had mellowed, as he did math with his lips, but his scowl didn't disappear entirely.
"So do you know what my request was? To volunteer for that god forsaken job of exile?"
"To get a really nice plaque. Yeah, I've seen it down in waterworks."
Yuri stared, then burst into laughter. Arms pulled back at the old man's unexpected bellowing.
Finally he stood, and turned to look at the holo window with a smile.
"You know. I saw grass and trees once. Not up close, but from orbit above the Earth. On a screen, so no different really."
"You have money then? You could pay to hide me from the assigners. I'd do anything, anything you wanted. I'd clean and fix, and even hide a bod-"
Yuri held up his hand, and pointed to the recorder on the wall.
"No. Don't get stupid."
Arms collapsed back into his chair, true morose painted on his face now.
"Arms-"
"It's hopeless. Be put in prison labour here, or sleep with some stupid automated shipment. At least I'll be rich, but-"
"Rule Seven."
Arms looked up.
"When I volunteered to do this run, two years ago-"
"A hundred and forty-"
"Whatever kid. Don't interrupt, this is the problem with your generation. Even the second highest achiever in your group, and still a brat."
Arms blinked.
"I came in second?"
"Yep. 87 out of 89. Which ain't bad."
"Then WHY are they sending me on this god awful-"
"Would you shut up and listen? And sit back down."
Arms looked down at his feet in surprise, then sheepishly returned to his seat.
"When I was leaving, the bug in the AI learning had been found. We had to shut most everything off, and even then my generation was still burning fuel beyond sustainability."
"You wanted to get help? Look I'm not noble so-"
"No! I was surrounded by idiots. The whole world was going to hell in a handbasket."
Arms blinked.
"I knew I had to get out of there, for at least 70 years. I couldn't go to Earth, since I never developed the tolerances, but I should have negotiated for more! The idiots were willing to give me bribes so long as I did what they saw as the worst job."
Arms' face was scrunching through a dozen expressions as he tried to process the meaning.
"Arms. This place is shit. It's still shit. Better than back then, sure, but you really want to be eating algae bowls forever?"
"But I'll still be alone..."
"Rule. Fucking. Seven. I saw they were burning resources anyway, so didn't feel bad asking for a 2nd cryo pod. The 'sacrifice' is allowed to take their spouse. I said I'd take the trip if my wife was allowed to come with me."
Arms' lips moved but said nothing as he raced through the words.
"B-B-But," he finally sputtered, "Where is she now?"
"Prepping the ship, so that we can get going as fast as possible and leave this hellhole. Fortunately nobody has objections to us doing more runs. Every time we come back, things are a little bit more tolerable."
Arms stared in awe at the old man. The wiley master.
"... But I don't have a wife."
"Ah. Well. Back then, we didn't do the assigned marriage thing. Sixth generationors were #weird#. But the top compatible pair in every class has always been assigned together."
"But who do I-"
"Shuzie. She's already at the ship, with my wife. Wasn't half as dense as you are. I swear, the difference between number 1 and number 2 makes me weep for number 3, and I wouldn't even try communicating with the rest."
"Do does that mean-"
"Yes. The top two in every generation has left this hell hole. We'll be back, and rich, when it doesn't suck, and turn it all around."
Arms looked like he might cry at the news of Shuzie. All his melodrama about not leaving his generation behind seemed to have actually been referring to one in particular. And fair enough, the rest were idiots.
"Pack your things. You have a lot of more tolerable people to meet."
---
Author's Notes:
- Need to find more ways to describe somebody being surprised, while still showing and not telling. Hard. (repeated wide/bulging eyes etc, maybe try "whoa"? Pay attention to other writing)
- Might need to establish visuals of scene better when starting in heavy dialogue.
- Plan/write a better ending. In fairness, was doing this with draining phone battery and was getting a very sore neck.
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